So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
