So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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