I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
my liver is dry heaving
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
