You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
