i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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