You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize