the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
