That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i've created a new STD.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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