It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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