And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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