If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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