My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
