My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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