we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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