Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
