thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
