Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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