weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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