So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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