do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
