Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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