i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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