I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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