u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
