i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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