Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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