i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
