you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
someone owes me an orgasm
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
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you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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