Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
