do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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