At least make sure they are 18
Why
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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