im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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