Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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