it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
