Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
