Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Oh god it's open bar.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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