Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
did i walk over a car last night?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
