ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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