is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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