We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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