how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I think I just sharted jello shots
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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