You made me cry and you don't even care
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
