you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
