im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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