I wanna passion pit in your ass
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Too much gin, very little bucket
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
