We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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