He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My ATM looks so different sober.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
