so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
