Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
