that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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