is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
