Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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