My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
