he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
