Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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