she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
