sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
