Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
