i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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