SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Found your dick twin last night
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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