not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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