epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
