her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
