Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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